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“You know what, I don’t think I want it anymore”

"I really wanted the two to shiv each other in the kidney on stage"

“I want a Double Whopper. Also do you still have those nuggie fries?”

"Throughout the whole convention we plan to just let him just stare into the camera"

“You can rest easy america! We will no longer tolerate China’s ploy to make us watch people lip-singing to Taylor Swift songs”

"The pain of the people makes me all the more powerful!