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New President Elect Joe Biden Concedes Win To Trump
“You know what, I don’t think I want it anymore”
Adam Panter
Nov 7, 20201 min read
Poll: Americans Disappointed In "Slightly Less Chaotic" Presidential Debate
"I really wanted the two to shiv each other in the kidney on stage"
Adam Panter
Oct 22, 20201 min read
COVID-19-Stricken Donald Trump Demands Double Whopper At Local Vietnamese Restaurant
“I want a Double Whopper. Also do you still have those nuggie fries?”
Adam Panter
Oct 2, 20202 min read
Eye Of Sauron To Be Sole Speaker For The GOP National Convention
"Throughout the whole convention we plan to just let him just stare into the camera"
Adam Panter
Aug 24, 20201 min read
U.S Citizens Rejoice! Government Unanimously Agrees The Country’s #1 Issue Is TikTok
“You can rest easy america! We will no longer tolerate China’s ploy to make us watch people lip-singing to Taylor Swift songs”
Adam Panter
Aug 3, 20201 min read
Senator Mitch McConnell One Step Closer Towards Completing His Metamorphosis Into Demonic Toad Lord
"The pain of the people makes me all the more powerful!
Adam Panter
Jul 31, 20201 min read
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