Photos Reveal Big Boy Statues Are Indeed Getting Fatter

Midwestern/California restaurant chain Big Boy has been thrown into the limelight after a series of documented photos were released. These photos, taken over the course of several decades, shows the inexplicable growth of the various “Big Boy” mascot statues that stand in the parking lot of every restaurant.

“I knew something suspicious was going on” seventy-two-year-old photographer April Willoughby began this project after noticing something strange about the statues when she was a child. “In the fifties, when I was young, those statues were no larger than what I expected Dennis the Menace to be. A bit chunky, perhaps a bit naughty, but still innocent. But by the time I was a young woman I noticed it somehow grew to become the size of Elvis Presley. And not the fifties’ hot Elvis, but the fat seventies’ version. Always sweaty. Always ready”. Ms. Willoughby was asked what the statues might be ready for. She had no response.

The photos Ms. Willoughby has shown the statue’s slow, gradual growth over several decades. Forty years ago, the average height of a statue was approximately five feet. Now the average is well over seven feet. The girth of the statues has also increased, with each passing year the overalls all the Big Boys wear show increased strain as it struggles to hold the figure’s ever-expanding mass.

CEO of the chain David Crawford held a press conference to address the issue earlier this morning in the parking lot of a Big Boy in Warren, Michigan. “This is ridiculous” stated the profusely sweating businessman. As he talked, he made several quick, nervous glances towards the smiling statue facing him. “It is ridiculous to think that our mascot would be growing. Those photos are clearly just amateurish photoshop jobs. All our location’s statues have always been eight feet tall, weighed two tons, and have built in water pumps that make it look like it is salivating when you get too close to it. I have nothing else to say on the matter”.