Estranged Son Pretends To Care About The Cleveland Browns to Regain Father’s Affections

“Yes father, that last inning was very exciting”

Upon hearing on the news that the Cleveland Browns won an apparently significant game against the Pittsburgh Steelers last night, Malcolm Hardview Jr. was reminded that football exists. “Hey dad”, Malcolm began to lie to his father over the phone. “I know we haven't talked in awhile, but I want you to know that I saw the Browns game last night”.

“Really?” Malcolm Senior responded. A die-hard Dawg Pound (super fan) Browns fan, Malcolm hasn’t spoken to his son since the bitterly disappointing day he revealed himself to be a fanfiction writer on DeviantArt. “You really saw the game son?”

“Yes father, that last inning was very exciting”.

Malcolm Sr. started to tear up. “It’s a quarter son. The last quarter was exciting. But at least you’re trying. Hey, maybe we can meet up sometime and catch a game?”

“Uh, s-sure” Malcolm Jr. answered. “And maybe afterwards you can take a look at a new Sonic the Hedgehog storyline I’ve been cooking up. It’s an alternative universe story where Dr. Robotnik is the hero and Sonic is a evil-".

“Don’t ruin this boy”.