Director Christopher Nolan To Personally Save Cinema By Becoming Regal Theater Manager

“I and I alone am the only one who can do this”

LOS ANGELES- Acclaimed filmmaker Christopher Nolen has announced this morning that he will indeed be taking up a managerial job at a local Regal Theater. The Tenet and Inception director decided to take the position following the controversial decision by Warner Brothers to release all their slated 2021 theatrical films onto the streaming service HBO Max. “I was quite buggered,” complained Nolen while he contorted his body to the camera to flaunt his new Regal uniform. “It was right improper the way Warner Brothers botched movie theaters”.

The film industry has taken an incredible hit due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Many theaters across the country have remained closed, while others have slashed the amount of customers they can allow during each screening significantly. Nolan is concerned that Warner Brothers’ decision to prioritize streaming over theaters will hurt the industry. “If WB continues to encourage blokes to stay at home and not congest themselves into a crowded room during a deadly pandemic, then how will anyone be able to praise my movies and by extension me? That is why I am working at Regal now. My hope is that my very presence will inspire the masses to flood to the movies again. I and I alone am the only one who can do this”.

Mr. Nolan can be found cleaning up the bathrooms at the Regal LA Live theater on W Olympic Blvd, Los Angeles.